Give a bitch an ice cream cone means you like her.
Give a bitch a dozen roses means you really like her.
Give a bitch a necklace means you love her.
Give a bitch an engagement ring means you’ll always love her.
Give that bitch divorce papers means you changed your mind.
This makes me happier than a prostitute getting a tip!
Today, I was starting to take a test. Out of no where, my teacher comes over to me and says “if you can hide your bud, you can keep it.” Confused, I kind of darted my eyes around the room and promptly asked “….what?”
“If you can hide your bud, you can keep it.”
“What are you even talking about?”
“Your bud. If you can hide it, you can keep it.”
”..my bud? But I don’t-“
At this point, everyone in the room was looking at me with interest. So I sternly said, “I don’t have any bud. What are you talking about?”
“Your ear bud. When you listen to music. If you can hide it, you can keep it.”
Wording. That shit’s important.
Is that what you call a getaway?
Tell me what you got away with.
Cause I’ve seen more spine in jellyfish.
I’ve seen more guts in 11 year old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.
I hope there’s ice on all the roads.
And you can think of me when you forget your seat belt.
And again when your head goes through the windshield.